Without consent, sex is rape.
Consent is a positive and clear agreement on sexual intercourse between two people.
It is very important to obtain consent for anal, vaginal, and oral sex, and even sex acts like fingering or handjobs.
It is crucial to be clear on what consensual sex is.
1. Consent must be clear
Some people think asking for permission kills the mood but are really just scared of rejection.
Asking for consent makes both parties’ intentions clear.
It must be clear and unequivocal. It must be a ‘yes’, not a ‘maybe’ or an ‘I don’t know’, or silence.
When a person does not say ‘yes’, they are not playing hard to get. Leave them alone.
2. Consent must not be coerced or forced
Coercion includes begging, threats of harm, blackmail, or the use of a fiduciary relationship like a boss-employee, teacher-student relationship to make intercourse happen.
If they eventually cave in to your dirty strategy, they may not find the experience fulfilling or enjoyable.
3. Consent must be given with full consciousness
It is best to stay clear of drunk or ‘high’ coitus.
An unconscious or intoxicated person cannot give consent.
Giving a person alcohol or drugs in order to loosen them up without their consent is a crime.
4. Consent can be withdrawn at any time
No is always no, even in the middle of sex.
Whenever ‘Stop’ or ‘I don’t think I want to do this anymore’ or any words signalling apprehension or indecision are uttered, then you must stop.
5. Full disclosure is consent
If you have to lie to get a person to have sex with you, then consent is not total and complete.
For example, if you say that you are using a condom when you are not, then consent is not complete.
Rape and sexual assault are criminal offences in Nigeria, that is why both parties must be enthusiastic about sexual intercourse.
Finally, sex with an underage person is rape whether they consented to it or not.
